I wonder sometimes if I will come before the Lord at the end of time and say "Lord, Lord, did I not think on You all of the time and attempt to plumb the depths of Your ways?" (see Matthew 7:21-23 ... and read it as if he meant it)

And I can hear Him saying, "I don't believe we've met. I was the poor, the needy and destitute. You and those you surrounded yourself with were rich in knowledge but poor in love. You were so busy thinking about love in the abstract that you neglected to love Me in those who were disturbing your solemn reverie all around you.

My son, my son. My gifts are always meant to be perpetually given away. Your intelligence is not yours. I gave you this gift that I may serve those that I love through you. And yet this very thing you stubbornly resisted!"

I don't know if He'd say "away from me, I never knew you" at that point, but I'd fear it. Of course, this is merely speculation, but I don't think that it's anywhere near impossible.

The thing is, I'm pretty much constantly battling whether or not learning and knowledge is of much use in the kingdom. Overall, I believe that it is, but oh, how I struggle sometimes. I fear that I will exchange knowledge of Him (relational) for knowledge about Him and His world (informational).

I guess this is my journey. Not for a second do I subscribe to the anti-intellectualism of the evangelical portion of the church. It is important for Christians - especially leaders - to be well informed and educated, because the world happens to be a very complex place. Knowledge is not necessarily wisdom, but the more knowledge we have, the more potential there is for wisdom, if we will have humble hearts towards Jesus.

It's probably a faith issue, as always. Will I trust Him or my knowledge? Proverbs 3:5-6 sure springs to mind in a hurry:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight

As I ponder this further, I suppose that it's a positive sign that I'm asking this question. If I was positive that knowledge is unequivecably good and that I could not be in danger of loving knowledge more than God, then I'd be in trouble. I guess this wrestle is one that I need.